orangeloni's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Some days I want rid of it. It's a perfectly frustrating conundrum that I fee so torn between wanting something(someone) so much and wanting the something (someone) so far away from me as possible. I can't help it. Constant, and neverending, neveranswered questions twatting about my head as I try to sleep. Should I have more time, more space, am i just carrying with me yesterdays burdens because I've had no time to breathe? The fight last week has left me shaken. And I will remain shaken. I don't get over things and this is one of the huge problems that I have, I've never learnt to put things to bed, away, retire them; they remain there, bugbears readily available to attack any insecurities or anxieties at any God given moment. And the worse thing? Part of me *loves* it. Almost thrives on it. I don't know what deep down inside I want. Some days it's this, other days it's that. Some people may call that a woman's prerogative but I would love some direction. Some clarity. Maybe one day. 23:59 - Sunday, Oct. 17, 2010 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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